With the dawning realisation that we probably need to move somewhere bigger thanks to our pending addition, last week saw myself and Dickie completing mortgage application forms like crazy people – nothing like leaving it to the last minute 😉
That alone didn’t get me too freaked out and feeling middle aged. No, no, that waited until I’d downloaded my bank statements.
You see, in my 20s, my bank statements mainly consisted of the following transactions:
- Topshop. Usually for ‘Saturday night outfits’.
- Vodka from the off-license… of course we needed those extra drinks before we went out, said no one ever.
- Cash on a Saturday night.
- Drinks in some club with sticky carpets when the cash had run out (the receipts for which I’d find the next day – the worst type of receipt EVER!)
- Cash on a Sunday morning. To get home, because, you know, I’ve no idea where the other money went.
- Dominos on a Sunday morning. Yes they deliver at 11am people. You’re welcome.
- Gym membership to work off the Dominos but would never get used.
- Replacement mobile phones. ‘Nuff said.
- Fancy dress outfits. Everything seemed to deserve a theme back then.
- Shoes. The type that would last 5 wears before falling apart. Helpful.
- Rail cards which paid for trains that never seemed to arrive on time
- Credit card payments. Usually the minimum. I was stupid.
- CDs. To listen to awful R&B or rap.
You compare that to my most recent transactions:
- Expensive moisturiser and/or botox when it doesn’t work immediately.
- Some weird online organic wine shop. It’s good to experiment.
- Coffee. How else am I meant to function?
- Uber. Because I’m just so damned lazy & time is precious.
- Drinks. In a gastro pub where you’ll get a seat and can hear each other speak.
- Cheese. Wrapped in material from some farmers market which seems to justify it costing twice what you could get it for in the supermarket.
- Whistles. Seriously, I get a staff discount now. No jokes.
- Stationery. Because I’m convinced the quality of paper I write on has a direct impact on the greatness of my writing.
- Avocados. Addicted.
- High thread count cotton sheets. Because when I’m snoring, it makes a difference.
- Shoes. Impractical, dangerously high heels with beautiful red soles.
- Resoling of said impractical shoes.
- Ocado. Dickie thinks I’m having an affair with the delivery driver.
- Spotify. To listen to Electro, Classical… and then Justin Bieber in offline mode.
I’m officially old. Seriously. I’ve re-read the list and even I’m appalled. Mid-life crisis anyone? I have to admit, I had the most amazing time in my 20s, but nothing compares with the happiness and contentment that I feel in my 30s.
What’s your guilty pleasure? Have your spending patterns changed? Would you go back in time?