White Cotton Peonies

To the manager of Boots….

12/12/2016 2 Comments

To the Manager of Boots Chemist, Windsor,

I would like to write to you to apologise for what can only be described as the “sh*t storm” which took place in your store today.

I’d visited your branch for the fifth time in a week (and yes, I appreciate that is quite a lot even by the standards of a mum) for a rather special purchase. Today rather than Calpol, teething powders or nappy cream, I’d come in to print photos of my daughter Arabella (aged 6 months) as a gift for one of her grandparents. Sweet you’d think, right?

Now, I should add that many years ago, I worked in a pharmacy. It was a great time in my life and I have nothing but the upmost respect for anybody who works in one. To be able to handle cash from a customer who’s just bought head lice treatment without scratching yourself to oblivion takes true strength of character and that person is definitely better than me. I digress…

In my years working as a pharmacy assistant, I’d handled many films to be developed (yes, I really am that old) from shifty looking individuals who clearly had photos that they didn’t want to be witnessed by the public. At the time, I remember looking at them through judging eyes, vowing I would never be that person.

That was, until today.

Embracing “new” technology, I decided to go ahead and print my photo using one of your self service machines. I plugged in my fruit named phone into the machine and selected “prints”. Before I could start to think about what was happening, my photos were being displayed in full scale on the screen. Now, it’s been many a year since I’ve had to worry about any indecent images being on there. However, it just so happens that the last picture I’d taken was that of my daughter’s poo explosion in her nappy to send to my husband (I’m nice like that).

This was, you see, how it came about that I exposed most of your customers to her digested dinner from last night. A guy passing by exclaimed “holy sh*t”, but I informed him there was nothing holy about it.

I feel terrible for causing such a scene and promise that this situation WILL NEVER happen ever again.

Sincerest apologies and kind regards,

Mrs Kentish

Melanie Kentish

Hi! My name's Mel and I'm a 30 something blogger living in Windsor, UK with my two ginger cats and a rather handsome husband. White Cotton Peonies is the place where you'll find my ramblings on health, fashion, beauty, food and my random adventures as a soon-to-be mum. Enjoy.


  1. Angela


    I laughed out loud, sorry Mel!!

  2. Davinia


    That is so funny Mel, i truly laughed out loud at this. I had a similar situation occur in John Lewis, however mine featured the actual explosion and not the photo. Leaving a diarrhoea trail as i hastily made my way through menswear, desperately trying to find a baby changing room, with hands literally full of the noxious substance and leaving a smear on every door i passed through….. i haven’t been there since, i’m sure a photo of me must be on the staffroom wall as ‘one to approach with caution’ – mortifying!!!

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