White Cotton Peonies

I’m worried I’ll leave my baby in Waitrose…

03/01/2016 4 Comments

Most expectant mothers worry about breastfeeding, their partner bonding with the baby, getting the baby into a routine etc. I’m worried I’ll leave it in Waitrose. You see, Waitrose seems to be my favourite place to leave things; my umbrella, handbag, purse – things I’ve been carrying with me for years. So how am I expected not to forget something new? I can’t wait for the arrival of our mini-human, I promise. I also promise that I have no intention of being a negligent mother, but, you know, being a newbie doesn’t come without it’s concerns. My main ones:

  • People have told me lies all of these years and your own kids are just as annoying as everybody else’s.
  • My husband isn’t joking about asking for an extra stitch for dad.
  • It won’t like me and no amount of bribery will work.
  • It won’t stop crying. Ever.
  • The memory of the pain of  childbirth won’t ever fade and will keep me up daring the rare hours baby sleeps.
  • I will continue to refer to the baby as ‘it’.
  • The furniture downstairs (as it were) won’t go back where it belongs
  • My hygiene levels will deteriorate. Shaved legs will be saved for birthdays and Christmas thanks  to rushed showers, shared with baby staring and screaming at me.
  • I’ll leave it in Waitrose.
  • I’ll  leave a trail of milk everywhere I go. ‘Danger, wet floor’ signs will be left in my trail of destruction.
  • I might have gone off of alcohol for life.
  • The baby is ugly. “Goodness, it looks like you” is the best compliment friends can muster.
  • I won’t get my body back. Please note, if it happens to be exchanged for that of Elle MacPherson, allowances can be made.
  • Google won’t have the answer.
  • I’ll leave it in Whistles, cradling a dress in my arms as I exit.
  • It’ll figure out I don’t know what I’m doing.

Are you pregnant? Do you have worries? Are you already a pro with the badge to prove it? Was it half as scary as you thought? I’d love to hear from you.

M xox

Melanie Kentish

Hi! My name's Mel and I'm a 30 something blogger living in Windsor, UK with my two ginger cats and a rather handsome husband. White Cotton Peonies is the place where you'll find my ramblings on health, fashion, beauty, food and my random adventures as a soon-to-be mum. Enjoy.


  1. JJ


    You do need to worry about the shower one. The rest? Don’t panic. If I can do it? You’ll smash it x

    • Melanie Kentish


      Can we just live together in a massive creche please??? xx

  2. Sam


    The moment my son was handed to me was simultaneously the most incredible, unforgettable yet utterly terrifying moment of my life. For me, that’s when it really became real, the realisation that another human being relies on you to take care of literally every single need. At the same time, you’re looking at your own child, finally after months of waiting, you can see them, kiss them, feel their warmth, hold their hand which is so utterly amazing you forget any worries you had 🙂

    Up to the point of his arrival, I can honestly say I knew next to nothing about babies. I’d held them a few times but never with any confidence, I’d never changed a nappy, never made formula, never thought I’d have to google how to sterilise bottles properly (the list could literally go on and on) but as my wife had a c-section, I had no choice but to get stuck in as she couldn’t get out of bed for the first 6 hours or so. It was a blessing in disguise because after a few hours, I grew comfortable with nappies, getting him dressed and undressed and all that. Over the course of a few days, I’d become pretty adept at the day-to-day stuff which makes things less scary.

    I guess you’ll both naturally have a huge list of worries and doubts about what’s coming over the next few months but the key thing to remember is things don’t happen all at once on day one. Things to overcome happen gradually over time. So for me, the first week was learning how to change nappies, clothe a baby, feed him with a syringe (he didn’t take to breastfeeding too well and the midwives wouldn’t allow bottles for some reason). The second week was realising our house was too hot for a baby and learning how to maintain a steady temperature… And on it went.

    Your experience will also be unique to you guys as your baby will develop their own preferences and personality traits pretty quickly so advice from others will certainly help but there’s also lots of figuring stuff out for your situation so a bit of uncertainty is inevitable, so try not to worry too much.

    You’ll be fine! 🙂

    • Melanie Kentish


      Thanks so much Sam! I’ll definitely be tapping you up for tips & advice and congrats on being an awesome dad! 🙂

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