When you have a baby, your life is turned upside down. You feel more love and protection towards your mini human than you ever thought possible. However, it’s likely that your mini human is yet to develop a skill called sleep and so the constant state of trance begins. Throw in some hormones for good measure and before you know it, you’re a woman on the edge.
Dads, you’re awesome, really you are…. and yes, sometimes you might feel that you’re treading on egg shells, but help that treading by avoiding the use of any of the following…
- It’s awesome the baby sleeps through the night (when they woke every 2 hours)
- I can’t wait to wet the babies head, it’s been ages since I’ve had a drink
- Every day must be like the weekend for you
- When does Daddy get to suck the boobs?
- I’m so tired
- I’ve picked up some extra shifts next week, so I’ll be doing overtime (because it’s easier than staying at home)
- Shall I babysit for you? (babysitting doesn’t exist when it’s your child for the record)
- When’s dinner ready?
- Who’s the daddy?
- You don’t get a push present if you had a caesarian
- The baby’s got your moustache
- Nice! You bought some sexy undies for me (referring to your wife’s breastfeeding bras)
- Breast milk kind of tastes like condensed milk whilst swearing you haven’t drunk any of your wife’s milk
- Shall I change the baby? (before rolling over and going back to sleep)
- We’ve got 2 minutes before the baby’s due to wake, fancy some nookie?
I realise that you might not see fault in some of the above, but take it from me, you’ll be doing us all a favour and saving yourself a whole world of pain (my husband can be testament to that). Turns out Dickie said quite a few of them, 14 in fact, we like to call it a work in progress.
I’d love to hear the best lines you or your partner have used… (make my day and leave a comment!)