To anybody who subscribes to my YouTube channel, you may recently have witnessed some unusual activity on my account. Let me explain.
It all began on a long journey home from London last week when we were stuck in the car. Who drives to London I hear you ask, but that’s another matter.
Having played with each of her toys, covered herself from head to foot with orange cheese puffs and screamed blue murder for 5 minutes without a single tear falling from her eyes, Peppa Pig was deployed on my phone courtesy of YouTube.
All was well and there was silence for a good 5 minutes as Peppa worked her magical powers. Then all of a sudden, the squeaky monotonous tones of Peppa were replaced by an adrenaline-fuelled American guy telling me to get my squats on.
Within 15 minutes, we’d been treated to “Butt & Thigh Workout”, “How to Get Rid of Your Lower Belly Pooch”, “Tighten Your Saggy Breast in 1 Week” (notice it says breast and not breast!), “Place Baking Soda in Your Vagina And See What Happens”, before the climax of “How To Lighten Your Vagina Naturally at Home”. I was mortified and more than a little offended.
Turns out those opposable thumbs of hers have been put to good use. I swear it wasn’t my activity, just turns out that my daughter has questionable viewing tastes.
That said, the latest spate of “Babies Eating Food Well” videos were me, all me. Anything to try and get her to eat breakfast 🙈.
How life has changed.