They say that kids have an amazing ability to embarrass you. When I heard this, I assumed it was from toddler age… you know, when they can actually talk. But no, it appears that it starts in fact from birth.
I’m not talking about the time when I was queuing in M&S and heard the cashiers discuss whether they had a blocked drain again just as I realised Bells had done a mammoth poo and need changing. No, no, intentional embarrassment.
You see, Bells has just discovered the ability of pointing and waving. How cute I hear you say, and I would agree with you if it wasn’t for the fact that she’s taken to waving at guests before pointing to the door. Discreet, she is not. The other day when the electrician came to put up some lights (how middle aged), she practically scurried him back out of the house. Poor chap.
Then of course, there’s the feeding me things. The look of confusion across her face when you refuse to have a spoon of her baby food in front of strangers for fear of them being grossed out when she clearly gives it away that you’ll eat it any other day.
It turns out that she’s also quite the mover, but only to songs that she recognises as Dickie has clocked. You can therefore imagine my dismay when she goes cray cray for Justin Bieber.
Don’t even get me started on the use of shaking her head and rolling her eyes.
p.s. as you can see, the crawling is going less well. At this rate, she’s going to be 16 and still rolling around on the floor.