White Cotton Peonies

Sh*t they don’t tell you about breastfeeding…

12/07/2016 8 Comments

NCT classes… Something I thought all parents had to do before their baby arrived to qualify them for the job. Eager to get my qualification (there is no badge by the way!) along with any help I could get, there was never any question of whether I’d sign up or not, I was there.

Most of the sessions were spent going over the basics… how to hold your baby without breaking it (turns out they’re pretty sturdy), pain relief (take it all) and the essentials you need (nowhere near as much as you’d think), we finally got onto the bit that I found super helpful. Breastfeeding.

I’d heard dozens of stories of people who couldn’t do it, whose babies couldn’t latch or who had tongue tie. The list of nightmare stories were endless. Needless to say, before the breastfeeding session, I assumed I’d never be able to do it. However, four hours later, 5 cookies and 3 cups of coffee and they had me feeling like I had the whole thing mastered… I mean they demonstrated with a life size dolly and everything. I was good to go.

When the Little Miss was born, I was incredibly lucky. She had the appetite of a small country and took to it like a duck to water. I was blessed. However, with time, a few things came to light that they didn’t cover in NCT. Here are some lessons I’ve learned over the past 4 weeks that I would have loved somebody to tell me…

  1. You can be discreet as you like but you will end up flashing boob to strangers at some point. After the first week, this will no longer bother you.
  2. Your boobs will leak… When your baby is crying, when a stranger’s baby is crying, when your boobs are full, when you are happy, when you are sad, when the day ends in Y. They’ll leak, everywhere.
  3. You’ll often not be aware of boob leakage. You may confuse baffled looks from strangers as admiring glances only to be corrected when you get home and your husband points out that there’s been a “spillage”.
  4. You’ll squirt your baby in the eye with milk at least once a day.
  5. Your boobs will OFTEN be different sizes. Nobody makes bras for that.
  6. You worry your child might die, choking on your milk. You’ll Google whether this is possible. Turns out it is.
  7. Newborn breast crawl is BS. Experience has taught that this leads to face planting followed by suffocation. Nothing about it is nurturing.
  8. You’ll walk around with weirdly shaped lego boobs thanks to the unflattering breast pads you’re forced to wear.
  9. Your husband will liken breast pumps to milking cows udders. This won’t be well received.
  10. You’ll no longer worry about this season’s fashion trends and instead opt for ease of access.

Of course, the feeling of providing for your baby is invaluable, but MAN I wish that someone had prepared me…

M xox

Melanie Kentish

Hi! My name's Mel and I'm a 30 something blogger living in Windsor, UK with my two ginger cats and a rather handsome husband. White Cotton Peonies is the place where you'll find my ramblings on health, fashion, beauty, food and my random adventures as a soon-to-be mum. Enjoy.


  1. Janet Gilham


    Well done Mel, best feeling in the world breastfeeding, unfortunately not everyone is able to do it.
    Your doing a great job, your mum is so proud. Xx

    • Melanie Kentish


      Thanks Janet. Hope that you and Dave are well xx

  2. Hannah


    No one tells you about the let down either and how when you feed one from, it sets the off the other! The heat of the shower used to set mine off too, so it was a race to get out, get a bra on and pop the pads in. Sometimes it was too late and I had to drip over the sink! Ha ha!

    The good news is that they settle down and after a few months, I was able to go without pads!

    Sounds like you’re doing an amazing job Mel :) xx

    • Melanie Kentish


      Oh god, I’d totally forgotten about those things… the list is endless. All worth it in the end though.

      Hope that you’re well my lovely xx

  3. Becky


    Interesting blog post. One thing I would say though is the newborn breastcrawl isn’t BS. My daughter did this as a newborn and it was a lifeline to helping me to breastfeed. You are right that it isn’t something that all babies do but I would hate anybody to be put off trying.

    • Melanie Kentish


      You’re totally right Becky, sorry, I didn’t want to put anyone off at all… just making light of my little lady’s inability to do it well. I have now found that if I give her some direction, she stands a better chance :)

  4. Jo Brakes


    Hey Mel,

    Congrats on the birth of your daughter :) my baby girl Jessica Lily was born just over 3 weeks ago so know exactly how you feel! Breast feeding is quite difficult for me as I just don’t produce enough for hungry babies and it was the same with my son! Just do whatever feels right. I had lots of midwives telling me to persevere but in the end I did what I felt was right and used formula along with breast feeding to ensure they kept putting on weight. It gets easier when they are a few months old :)

    • Melanie Kentish


      Congrats Jo! When did we grow up? Hope that you’re all doing well? I completely agree with you about doing what feels right. I’ve always said that I would breastfeed if I could but wouldn’t think twice about using formula if I had any issues. I think there’s far too much pressure on women to breastfeed! You have to do what’s best for you and baby x

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