Bells had been in this big scary world for precisely 10 minutes before Dickie took it upon himself to warn her about the danger of boys. I wish that was a joke, it really isn’t. I can only imagine the years of pain that we have yet to incur.
Therefore, you can understand my hesitation to break the news that our daughter is the biggest flirt that I’ve ever met… and no, she doesn’t get it from me.
The flirting started a few weeks ago. Up until her first birthday, Bells showed no interest in interacting with anybody other than us. Attempts from strangers to make her smile would be met with a deadpan expression, or as we endearingly named it “resting bitch face”. At the time, I was so embarrassed, I’d apologise on her behalf explaining that it was nothing personal, that’s just how she was.
Then her first birthday came and it was as though a switch had been flicked. Yay, our daughter could finally show the world that she was ACTUALLY happy.
Now, onto the flirting. It started with a coy glance, progressing to a display of her gums and tiny teeth. Fast forward a month and Bells flirting techniques have developed somewhat.
Her displays usually take place when we’re queuing to pay for something and are therefore unable to escape. Bells will spot a hot guy in the queue behind me (the girl has a radar) and a naughty grin appears before she reaches for her toes, bringing her foot over her head displaying her physical prowess. If the poor unsuspecting chap hasn’t spotted her, said foot is placed in her mouth before loud sucking commences. Fabulous.
Of course, the piece de resistance is the blowing of kisses as we finally leave. Naturally.
So yeah, our daughter everyone. For now, I just have to hope that Bells doesn’t find anyone that takes her fancy whilst she’s in daddy day care. Can you imagine what the school discos are going to be like?