I love my family more than I can put into words. My husband is my best friend, my confidant, my buddy and my partner in crime. We were genuinely made to be together. However, when you’re pregnant or breastfeeding for 35 out of 38 months, I’d be lying if I said it hadn’t had an impact in our relationship in some way.
When you’re knees deep in dirty nappies and laundry sporting baby vomit on your shoulder from a few hours before that you’ve yet to wipe off, it’s hard to feel sexy. Add a serious lack of sleep into the mix along with babies who refuse to take a bottle meaning more than 6 months without a date night and it’s easy to start to take one another for granted.
With Bells, I remember thinking that I needed to be with her at all times… that’s what a good mum would do, right? With Millie though, I’ve taken a much different approach, wiser in the knowledge that when we take time out for one another, we are much better parents as a result. I’m pleased to say that date nights are now a regular occurrence in our house and I love them! We even manage some chat which doesn’t revolve around babies… shocking!
The biggest change of all however, has been our conscious effort to communicate more effectively. I hate asking for help with things, feeling in some way that I’m failing or that I’m forcing him to do something that he doesn’t want to do. However, when you’re trying to do EVERYTHING, resentment starts to build and the other person starts to feel redundant. I never thought I’d be jealous of somebody going to work or getting stuck in traffic 😀
After a heart to heart one day, Dickie explained to me that he wanted to help more than I was letting him, it’s just that men often think in the here and now whereas women tend to plan further ahead. Where I’d previously expected him to be a mind reader and would then get annoyed when he got it wrong, I now tell him what he can do to help. I’ve come to realise that just because we have different ways of doing things doesn’t make one right and the other wrong.
Now that Millie has finally admitted defeat and takes a bottle, Dickie can now feed her, splash around at bathtime and do her favourite Johnsons Baby massage before bed, all of which he loves, she adores and I appreciate hugely.
I genuinely think that as a result of having a second baby, stressful as it is, we’ve become a stronger couple, better communicators and a happier family all round.
How has life changed after the birth of your first-born? Do you have any pearls of wisdom?
NB: This post was written in association with Johnson’s Baby #ad #johnsonsambassadors