White Cotton Peonies

Dealing with hormones as a baby hoarding pregnant woman is hard. Reliving the emotional rollercoaster of being a teen without the distraction of boys is near impossible which needs patience, understanding, love and cookies from nearest & dearest.

If however, you’re keen to lose your designated driver for whatever reason, here are some easy steps to piss off a pregnant woman:

  1. Tell her your birth story…. the more graphic & painful the better. Ignore any looks of despair, consider it encouragement.
  2. Diss a load of baby names, you know, just on the off chance she’s chosen one of them.
  3. Comment on her size. Maybe check if she’s sure there aren’t 2 in there, because that will make her feel really great about herself.
  4. Every time it looks like she’s enjoying herself, remind her to make the most of it as it’ll stop once the baby is born.
  5. Judge her for not drinking. Seriously, I mean it’s not as though she’s craving a drink… Maybe make out that she’s a bit precious & tell her you drank throughout the whole of your pregnancy, that will really help.
  6. Act surprised every time you’ve seen her that she STILL hasn’t had it. Even though she’s only 30 weeks.
  7. Touch her tummy, ideally when she’s least expecting it and without asking. Just have a full on grope of her bump, she’ll love that.
  8. When you’ve made her mad enough, suggest that it’s her hormones are acting up. Maybe suggest she chills?

So there you have it… easy peasy steps to really get under the skin of a pregnant woman. Fear not though, if you don’t manage it during pregnancy, you can always make up for it once baby is born… Mums just love it when you ask the gender of their baby even when it’s wearing a bow on it’s head!

Melanie Kentish

Hi! My name's Mel and I'm a 30 something blogger living in Windsor, UK with my two ginger cats and a rather handsome husband. White Cotton Peonies is the place where you'll find my ramblings on health, fashion, beauty, food and my random adventures as a soon-to-be mum. Enjoy.