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The Invisible Cloak of Mum

ParentingPersonal / Aug 18, 2016 /
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I remember being 18 on my way home from college and getting massively offended that a white van driver had told me to get my tits out for the lads… Fast forward far too many years and last week I found myself delighted that a stranger had referred to me as a MILF. How times have changed.

You see, there’s something about becoming a mother that seems to completely change your identity to it’s core. People no longer refer to you by your name, instead using ‘mummy’. Rather than being told you look hot, if you’re lucky, you become a ‘hot mumma’. Walking past a group of builders, you prepare yourself for the anticipated onslaught of sexual comments and instead are met with silence. You’re wearing The Invisible Cloak of Mum.

As much as I’d like to blame the outside world, the truth is that it was my confidence that had hit an all time low. It could have something to do with:-

  • A body that served me well, delivering a baby, but that I no longer recognised as my own
  • Perfectly manicured nails so chipped I could no longer tell you what the colour was
  • Grey hairs appearing where brown roots used to be
  • Making do with clothes I’d previously reserved for desperate laundry days, simply because they were the only ones that allowed easy access for feeding
  • Resembling ‘Daisy The Cow’ being milked when expressing in front of my husband

Of course, it goes without saying that looking after Bells comes so far above looking good. I love her more than anything in the world and her needs will always come above mine. However, now, finally finding my feet, I recognise how important it is to have confidence, to be happy and to feel attractive.

Last week, I finally bit the bullet and bought some clothes that were not only practical but that I also felt good in. I asked for help, getting Dickie’s mum to look after Bells whilst I sorted out some beauty bits and we managed to have a mini-break (albeit with Bells in tow). I feel like myself again.

Things really do get easier…. and now, not only am I completely in love (with Bells and with Dickie), I feel better about myself too. As women, and mothers, sometimes we need to untie our cloaks and to step into our limelight.