It struck me the other evening as Bells plunged forwards for a kiss with a mouth full of food that having a baby is very often like looking after a drunk friend. I’m sure I’m not the first to feel this way but in case it needed any explaining, here are a few examples:
Naked – they love exposing themselves and will attempt to strip at any time, in any situation, in any location.
Coordination – walking in a straight line is definitely out of the question, more often than not ending up on their bums.
Groping – they are constantly trying to touch your boobs in public. Nice.
Food – they’ll happily eat anything in fact the weirder the combination, the better. Potato and custard anyone?
Sleep – they pass out any time, without warning… often leading to them waking with food stuck to their face.
Sick – projectile vomiting could happen at any time and usually ruins a perfectly good outfit (of yours that is, of course!)
PDA – they love you A LOT and aren’t afraid to show it… note the open mouth kiss.
Attention span – whilst they may love you A LOT, that’s forgotten as soon as something shiny and new enters the room ?
Tears – from laughter to crying in two seconds flat without any reason. Sound familiar?
Toilet – there will be a pee/poop situation which you’ll be left to clear up. This won’t concern them in the slightest.
Chat – they’ll babble constantly, none of which will make any sense to you but will be incredibly important at the time.
Emotions – forget the embarrassment for everyone around them, they’re completely unable to hide their emotions… even/especially if this means offending strangers.
Smile – no smile is complete without a mountain of drool… because you know, that’s attractive.
Regardless of how much they embarrass/disgust and annoy you, you can’t help but love them and live in the knowledge that one day, maybe, they’ll sober up… and when they do, they can return the favour. Please Bells, choose a decent care home…
Feel free to add any I’ve missed…