I remember them placing Bells in my arms. I remember looking at her in disbelief as she gripped my finger. I remember the first night where she slept like an angel and I didn’t sleep a wink as I watched her intently. I remember being so tired that I’d fall asleep as people spoke to me. I remember our first night home, passing her from one to another in the hope that she’d sleep with not a clue what to do.
I remember her first jabs and the feeling that I’d do anything to take the jabs for her so that she wouldn’t have to go through it. I remember our first weekend away with her and realising holidays would never be the same again. I remember her first giggle and the tears that stung my eyes. I remember lying on the grass with such feelings of contentment as she belly laughed at the trees above her.
I remember the realisation that I needed to be a better person, to be strong, to be a Mama. I remember her babbling “dadda” for the first time and thinking that she was a child genius. I remember her clutching on to me as I had to tear myself away in tears as I left her at nursery for the first time. I remember the determination in her eye as she crawled for the first time and the smug look of satisfaction after she achieved it.
I remember all of these things and more. These memories will be forever ingrained in my heart and whilst I feel sadness that those days will never be experienced again, I am excited for the adventures that we are yet to experience.
What this video lacks in finesse, it makes up for in love. It will always be my favourite video.