I’m no domestic goddess. I can cook a mean meal, but when it comes to household chores, well I prefer to work hard and outsource those jobs. It got so bad that Dickie bought an iron whose temperature auto-adjusts so that I didn’t have an excuse any more. Then we moved into a cottage with an ironing shop at the end of the street – that was no coincidence I tell you.
When people mentioned the nesting phase to me, cleaning didn’t even cross my mind. I assumed that it meant buying stuff for the house ahead of the arrival of your Mini-Human. As the Queen of Internet Shopping (copyright pending), I just figured that I’d have that whole thing nailed. Easy breezy.
Then about 2 weeks ago, it kicked in, with force. Let me tell you, it’s far less glamorous than I’d assumed. It’s involved no internet shopping & lots and lots of scrubbing. I’ve discovered dirt in crannies I didn’t know existed and nothing within a 20 meter radius is safe. My clean-o-meter has gone cray cray.
Here are some signs that you’ve entered the nesting phase:
- You make the bed… when your husband is still in it.
- You order mountains of starch spray to get every SINGLE crease out of the baby grows that you’re washing… even though you’re about to fold them up & pop them back in a drawer.
- You start to feel that your husband (not even his stuff) is making the house look messy.
- You lean over to give the sink a wipe down, mid-wee.
- Your cupboard runs out of room to stock all of your cleaning products.
- You lose your rag when your husband hasn’t completed his chores within the reasonable timescales you set in your head (READ: immediately).
- You fire your cleaner because you’re convinced you could do a better job.
- Even though you’ve spent the whole morning cursing your bad night’s sleep & feeling shattered, yo get a sudden burst of energy as soon as you spot a duster.
- Your daily 20 minutes of exercise are spent pacing the cleaning aisles of Waitrose.
- You sneak next door to clean their windows when they’re out.
Everyone says that it steps up a level a few days before the big day, but I have to say, I don’t know how that would be humanly possible. Has anyone else found themselves out of cleaning control? Please say I’m not alone???